Circle of Life
by Intuition
Summary: Shikaku comes home from a mission.


**AN: Started out humorous... then turned serious... oh well.**

* * *

"I'm getting fat," she said.

He sighed, not looking up from the mission reports he was reading, "You are not getting fat."

"I am, look," she said, pinching her belly, looking at it forlornly.

"That's normal," he said, not looking. She didn't notice; her gaze still focused on her belly.

"Not for a kunoichi."

"Well, good thing you aren't a kunoichi anymore," he replied, distracted.

She frowned at him, unhappy with his response. "I should still maintain my shape though."

He finally put the reports down to look at her, "When did you start becoming insecure about your body? It never mattered to you before."

"Because before I had a hot body," she said, emphasizing the 'before.'

"You _still_ have a hot body."

"What if I didn't have a hot body anymore?"

He shrugged, "Then you wouldn't have a hot body anymore."

"What if I got fat?"

He laughed, "I'd like to see you try."

She glared at him, "It could happen."

"Okay," he challenged, "do it."

She gasped, "You want me to get fat? You wouldn't find me attractive anymore."

"I don't know how I find you attractive _now_," he joked, placing the reports on the bedside table. He wasn't going to be getting any work done now.

"Excuse me?" she seethed.

He merely smirked at her, a teasing light in his eyes.

She resisted the urge to grab him and shake him, "You're really bad at this."

"Bad at what?"

"At being a comforting husband."

"Comforting about what?"

She threw her hands up in the air and started to settle down deeper into their bed to go to sleep on her side, "Nevermind."

"I can't read your mind, Yoshino," he tried to reason.

She turned back to face him, "I want you to say that you'd still love me if I got fat."

"I'll still love you if you got fat," he repeated mechanically.

"AND you will still find me sexually attractive."

"AND I will still find you sexually attractive."

"And you won't leave me."

"And I won't leave you," he said with a laugh. This was ridiculous.

She studied him for a moment and then turned back around without saying a word.

As dense as he was about women, even Shikaku knew that the issue wasn't resolved. He pulled at her shoulder so she was lying on her back, "What is this about really?"

"I shouldn't have to tell you the things that I want you to say to make me feel better! You should just know."

He looked at her as if she was an insane person, "How can I possibly _just know_?"

She stared at him as if he was an idiot, "Every woman gets insecure about her appearance and all you have to say is that you love me and think I'm beautiful. And you can't just _say_ it… you have to _mean_ it too because otherwise they are just empty words."

He looked confused, "But I do-"

"And _so_," she continued, interrupting him, "when I say I'm getting fat, you don't say 'No you aren't' you say, 'I love you no matter what.'"

"Ok, he said, trying to appease her, "now I know."

"But you should have already known!"

He was starting to get frustrated, but getting angry wasn't in his nature so he just said muttered lowly, "I just can't win." He leaned over to turn off his bedside lamp and snuggled into the bed, pulling up the covers.

But now she was riled up. She turned to her side to face his prone figure, "I know you think I'm acting like a crazy lady but I just need reassurance once in a while. Is that too much to ask for?"

He ignored her.

She pushed his shoulder, "Shikaku!"

He sighed and turned to face her and said seriously, "If I wasn't in this for the long haul, I wouldn't have married you."

And there it was. The whole reason Yoshino had fallen in love with Shikaku in the first place. He had this way about him where he could say the simplest, most mundane things and make them meaningful. He had never been one for ostentatious displays of affection like Inoichi or shyly affectionate like Chouza. In fact, most of the times, he acted like he didn't even like her, always grumbling about her attitude and how much of a pain she was to his bachelor livelihood. She knew it was all a front though. He had always been a strong supportive presence in her life, when she left her parents to join ANBU against their wishes, when she told him that she didn't want children, when she had quit being a kunoichi to focus on being the first lady of the Nara clan… the list was endless.

Yoshino sighed. "I know."

"So, why are you trying to start a fight?"

"I'm not trying to start a fight!"

"Then, what's the problem?"

"Nothing, I'm just worrying unnecessarily," she said vaguely.

Then she smiled, gently, her left hand searching underneath the blanket to hold his right one in a loose grasp of interlocked fingers.

Shikaku moved closer to her, pulling her onto his chest so she was lying half across him and half on the bed. He ran his other hand through the silky strands of her long black hair. She let out a small sound of contentment.

She let go of his hand to draw imaginary figures on his chest, "I've been cooped up here alone for so long that I've just had too much time to think."

"Yoshino… with rumors of war and—"

"I know, I know, you're busy. I'm not blaming you. You need someone to take care of the clan anyway." His hand started to trail down her spinal column and back up. Yoshino snuggled closer to him, soothed by his gentle caress.

He didn't say anything.

"Maybe I should return to active duty," she said after a while. She felt him tense up immediately.

"If that's what you want," his voice came out strained. She smiled to herself, lifting herself up so she could look at his face. He tried to look stoic and uncaring but she could tell that he absolutely did not want her to start fighting again. She shook her head, amused, "Relax, I'm not going back."

He rolled them over so she was on her back and he was on top of her, gripping her waist in a tight hold. "Good," he said heatedly and gave her a thorough kiss. He rested his forehead against hers as they both fought to catch their breaths. The possessive kiss gave Yoshino the courage to say what had been on her conscious lately, "I couldn't if I wanted to anyway."

Shikaku pulled back to look at her, a question in his eyes. Yoshino lifted a hand to slowly trace the long jagged scar on his face. Shikaku closed his eyes and leaned into the touch which gave Yoshino a chance to unabashedly study the pores of his tanned skin, the slight stubble that traced a goatee that he had been trying to grow for weeks now, the faint laugh lines and crow's feet that were starting to emerge on his still youthful face.

"Shikaku," she whispered in a gentle voice that sounded even foreign to her own ears. He opened his eyes and stared intently into hers.

"You're going to be a father."

She waited with baited breath, but he didn't move a muscle, just stared searchingly into her eyes. His response was not what she was expecting, "But you don't want children."

She dropped the hand that had been caressing his face onto her stomach and gave him a slightly crooked, unsure smile, "I guess I'm more amicable to the idea now."

He looked down at her hand and then his eyes trailed down to her lower abdomen. Because he wasn't looking at her, she couldn't see the terror and sheer panic on his face. He was not ready for this. And there might be a war. But…

"I'm going to be a father," he said to her uterus, shocked.

Yoshino took both her hands and hauled his face back to hers. "So what do you think," she asked, uncertain. She bit her lip, her face a picture of vulnerability. Sure, she had told him long ago that she didn't want children but that was back when she was still in ANBU and the idea of having children made her want to vomit and run for the hills. Maybe he didn't want children either? He had never said otherwise. As clan leader, it was his duty to provide an heir. It must have been ingrained into him since his father was killed during the Second Shinobi War. It was one of the reasons she almost didn't marry him, but he had reassured her that the Nara clan was far more laid back than the likes of the Hyuuga and he would not be forced to reproduce if he did not want to.

He gave her one of his rare smiles, his eyes lighting up with joy, "I'm going to be a father!"

She returned his joyful smile and leaned up to kiss him, relieved.

He broke off the kiss to slide back down her body. He lifted up her nightgown to look at her belly. He leaned down to give it a kiss, his stubble tickling her. She gasped. He looked up and gave her mischievous grin. She felt herself starting to blush and she half expected him to pull down her underwear, but he didn't. Instead, he placed his hand on her lower abdomen and gently rubbed the skin there, a move far more intimate than she expected it to be.

His thumb moved back and forth over her skin as he contemplated something, "So this is what you were worried about," he murmured.

It was a million different things that she had too much time to think about: her body changing and possibly never returning to its original shape, her just changing because of hormones and becoming a mother, him being gone because the war really wasn't just a rumor, him changing because of war… he had never even been in ANBU, having a child when their world was starting to fall apart…

She didn't say anything though, it was just too many things to put into words and she could tell by his faraway look that the same worries were starting to dawn on him as well.

He kissed her belly again and then kissed her on the lips and then her forehead. He pulled her towards his body so could spoon her, one hand pressed to her lower abdomen protectively. She placed her arm over his, "Don't worry Shikaku, everything will be fine."

He leaned down to kiss the back of her neck and then tucked her head under his chin, "I thought I'm supposed to be the one reassuring you?"

She grabbed his hand from her waist and kissed his palm, "You already did."

"How far along are you?" He had been gone for two months on a mission so he knew it had to be at least 8 weeks.

"14 weeks."

"14 weeks?" He really should have noticed. He had just assumed that she was just losing muscle mass on her belly.

She turned around in his arms and looked at him almost shyly. He had never seen Yoshino act shy and so it was a bit disconcerting. "I also know the sex of the baby."

"Okay," he said, expectantly.

"It's a boy."

"A boy… " Images of a smaller version of himself flashed through his mind. He could already picture training his son in shadow possession jutsu, playing shogi, and cloud watching.

"When did you find out?"

"About the baby… or the sex?" She continued before he could respond, "I found out I was pregnant the day after you left for your mission and I found out the sex two days ago."

"I should've been here," he told her guiltily.

"You didn't know."

"When's your next doctor's appointment?"

"In exactly a month."

"I'm coming with you."

"You might have a mission."

"I'll figure something out."

"It's fine Shikaku. This is the life of a shinobi. Nothing we can change about that."

He held her tighter, "I won't die." She knew he was referencing the upcoming war.

"You can't promise that."

"Then I promise you that I will do everything I can to survive and make sure that he will never know what it is like to go to war and lose a father."

Yoshino smiled, "I wouldn't expect anything less."

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**AN: Standard Disclaimers Apply**

**I know Yoshino was only a Chuunin and that she probably had Shikamaru around the age of 24... but for the purposes of this story lets say that she had him when she was 30 and that she was in ANBU but Shikaku was not.**


End file.
